Play Is Not Frivolous. It Is Survival. It Is Resistance.

A common question I hear from parents, caregivers and people generally curious about play is:

“Can a child play too much?”
“When does play become a problem?”

My answer is always the same:

Play is never the problem. We need to look deeper at the need beneath the play.

When a child is constantly pretending to be a superhero, is it simply imagination or is it a cry for power in a world that often makes them feel helpless?

When someone spends hours building digital worlds in Roblox, is it just entertainment or are they creating a safe space where they can finally breathe?

What Do We Say When Someone Says, "You're Playing Too Much"?

When I hear this, I respond:

“There’s no such thing as too much play. Only too little understanding.”

Instead of focusing on how much someone is playing, we should ask:

  • What need is this play fulfilling?

  • Is it helping the child cope with anxiety, loss or trauma?

  • Is this the only place where they feel free, in control or safe?

Play isn’t the symptom. It’s the signal.

Looking beneath the surface, we begin to see that play is not merely a behavior.
It’s communication. It’s healing. It’s a child’s language of survival.

And Yes. Balance Matters

We all need sleep, connection, nutrition and movement.
But when it seems like someone is playing “too much,” the first step shouldn’t be to limit play. It should be to listen.

Excessive play isn’t something to shut down. It’s a message to lean into.

Ask yourself:

  • What is this helping them cope with?

  • Where else in their life might they feel powerless or unheard?

Play doesn’t pull us away from reality. Often it helps us survive it.

But Here's the Truth About Play: It Doesn't Depend on Toys

Not every home has LEGO or video games.

Play doesn’t require toys.

We can move, dance, sing and tell stories.
We can use our voices and our imaginations.

Nature offers its own playthings:

  • A stick can become a lightsaber, a fishing pole or a magic wand

  • Rocks turn into treasure

  • A cardboard box? An entire universe

What truly matters is the space we give for imagination, not the materials themselves.

Play Is Resistance

In a world that often tells us to sit still, be quiet and grow up too fast, play becomes an act of resistance.

From Gaza to Congo, children facing unimaginable pain still find ways to play, to laugh, imagine and create moments of joy and freedom amid struggle. Their play is not just survival; it is a powerful declaration of hope, strength and the unbreakable human spirit.

When we choose joy despite chaos
When we build something new after watching something fall apart
When we escape into story instead of being swallowed by despair

That is resistance. That is power. That is survival.

So the next time you wonder,
“Are they playing too much?”

Pause and ask instead:
“What is this play trying to tell me?”
“What do they need from me right now?”

Because when we listen to play, we hear the heart.
And when we protect play, we protect our shared humanity.


Keep Playing!

Sophia Ansari, LCPC, LPCC, RPT